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Fic: Outlast Was a Bad Idea (Pitch/Pitchiner, R)

Title: Outlast Was a Bad Idea

Fandom: Rise of the Guardians

Pairing: Pitch/Pitchiner

Author’s Notes: Belated birthday fic for ksclaw who requested Pitch as a Lets Play video creator on YouTube. Thanks to lithefider for the beta :D!


Pitch thought himself pretty lucky for ending up with flatmates who all happened to be fellow gamers. He had fallen for Pitchiner’s muscles and deliciously large cock long before discovering they shared a passion for Call of Duty, and since that discovery they had spent many nights killing Nazi zombies together before fucking. Or sometimes fucking while killing zombies, though that tended to throw off his aim.

Proto was more of a casual gamer, generally sticking to whatever he could download for free, although he sometimes used Steam to acquire indie or retro classics. How they ran on Proto’s Frankensteinian machine Pitch had no idea, but he wasn’t about to risk opening it up to find out - he wouldn’t be surprised to find rats on wheels powering the damned thing.

A perk of having gamer flatmates was hearing recommendations and reviews he could actually respect. Pitchiner advised Dead Space was like a rollercoaster where you weren’t strapped in and your fellow passengers were armed cannibals; Proto advised OFF was the heart-warming story of a sportsman and his pet vanquishing ghosts so he could be reunited with his son.

Pitch had stood up during the end battle of OFF, found Proto, and punched him in the face before returning to recording his reactions to the game.

Piki had teased Pitch about his ‘Lets Play’ videos when he first started uploading them, never letting Pitch forget about the time he’d run a gaming blog titled “So Goth I Was Born Black” before getting hounded off the account for accidental racism. He was fourteen years old at the time, but Piki still thought it hilarious.

Pitch made a point of screencapping each subscriber milestone for Black Bites Back and sending it to Piki. When he started selling mugs with quotes on them and made enough money in the first month to take himself and Pitchiner out for a restaurant meal, he made a point of taking selfies with Pitchiner at dinner and emailing them over before they’d even paid the bill. It was good to get even, and for all that Piki’s plays sold better than Pitch’s, Pitch liked knowing that he was the only twin responsible for a meme.

Much of his success was down to female gamers, or at least female fans, who seemed to have an obsession with his voice despite the fact he’d made it pretty clear he wasn’t single or heterosexual. If his references in YouTube uploads hadn’t made enough of a point, then the livestream that Pitchiner interrupted by coming home drunk from a game and tackling Pitch from his chair should have done the trick.

Pitch managed to turn off the webcam just in time but his headset was only dislodged, not unplugged, and a muffled recording of their mutual handjob session had made its rounds within a certain circle of his followers as a result.

It wasn’t the first or last time Pitchiner caused him embarrassment, and he liked to repay the favour by putting on the campiest voice he could and fussing over Pitchiner when he dared to play multiplayer Call of Duty without offering an invitation.

Matters eventually escalated, Pitchiner crawling under Pitch’s desk to give him a furtive blowjob mid-livestream, Pitch playing the opposing team in multiplayer matches and camping over Pitchiner’s corpse or finding a good spot to repeatedly snipe him from, until they promised to call it quits. Further escalation might have involved naked dicks on camera and Pitch knew his audience wasn’t always telling the truth about their age when joining livestreams.

He didn’t judge them - he’d played Doom 3 long before he was “old enough”, and Heretic, Doom, and Quake had all been important parts of his formative years. Nonetheless, the potential presence of minors did mean he felt a certain degree of responsibility for his followers, which meant kicking perverts, racists, and homophobes off his channel. It also meant keeping both his and his boyfriend’s cocks in their respective pants, or at least out of view of the camera.

To his credit, Pitchiner did keep his promise about no more dicks in vicinity of the webcam.

Pitch wanted to like Outlast, he really did. It had come so highly recommended by so many of his gaming friends, and they’d been right when recommending Amnesia, but it just kept falling flat for him. There just wasn’t enough tension and suspense between the scares for his liking, and the inability to really fight back against the enemies meant there wasn’t enough of a thrill to make up for it.

He’d already apologised to those watching for the dull experience, loaded up Outlast: Whistleblower in hope it would prove more entertaining, and felt relieved when it did. The game felt surer of itself, as if the designers had found their niche and were happy to explore it. Eddie was perfectly repulsive and yet appealing to watch in all his repulsiveness, and Pitch watched the sequence where his character was strapped to a table and threatened with genital mutilation with rapt attention.

Too rapt.

His scream when a blunt edge pressed against his neck almost burst his own eardrums, and he leapt out of his seat - or tried to anyway, succeeding only in smacking his attacker with his keyboard before tripping over his own feet and sprawling onto the floor.

“Shit, that hurt! … Babe, you okay?” Pitchiner asked, some genuine concern in there alongside the laughter. Pitch cursed and kicked at him before sobbing, then covered his mouth and curled up in a ball, dying of shame. “Shit shit shit, I’m sorry babe,” Pitchiner said, crouching down next to him and pulling Pitch into an awkward hug, more sincerity in his voice this time despite his continued laughter. “I’m so sorry, I’m a mean fucker, are you okay?”

“Do I fucking look okay?” Pitch shrieked back, looking up at Pitchiner before snorting and starting to laugh, despite the fact he was still shaking. “Oh, you asshole. It’s a good thing that game autosaves.”

As if on cue, a horrified garbled scream escaped the computer speakers, and Pitch flopped against Pitchiner’s chest with relief. “Want to get back to your game?” Pitchiner asked, rubbing Pitch’s shoulder gently.

“I want to go Eddie Gluskin on you,” Pitch said, snuggling in. “Luckily for you I like your cock too much.”

“I love you too pooh bear,” Pitchiner said.

He had to wait a while to gather the energy for it, but it was worth the satisfaction when Pitch managed to punch Pitchiner in the arm hard enough to get a genuine “ow” out of him.

He hadn’t liked either version of Outlast that much anyway, and it was getting closer to The Evil Within’s release date. He could pick up his Lets Play videos again then.

“I want to go Eddie on you” became his best-selling mug within a fortnight.


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January 2016

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